Attention Farmville Friends

If I knew a thing about farming
I’d combine all my knowledge
Together
So I could make jokes like
“Real farmers get the hoes”

But instead I’ll grow cotton
And reenact the days of slavery
Instead of capturing Negroes
We’ll capture minds
Can you please send me bricks, horseshoes, chains and whipped cream
And some hammers
And nails?
Perhaps I can re-nail someone to the cross
Or perhaps our paths will cross in mafia wars
And an innocent bystander will get clipped
In a fake café
I’m sorry that a lost animal has wandered onto your farm
Isn’t that a sign of good luck
Or is that a sign of…
At least Paris Hilton makes videos, real porn
We make…fake corn

If you don’t send this poem to 10 people in the next hour
You will not receive the unwither ring from me
And you will not receive $417.85 from Bill Gates
And you will not receive a +3 paladin upgrade
Which reminds me that I need to download
A new
Application
On my I-Life

Sorry. What was that?
You’re upset because no one commented on
What you ate tonight?
Here, here’s some of this fake corn
That I planted for you
On Farmville

(There’s a joke in line 2 if you didn’t get it
I noticed you were updating your status
And I really just wanted to tell you
One of your stable bucks has dysentery)